Reflections on Week 4

On parents, motivation, and getting help (and a celebration of the small successes).

Parents.

First, I'd like to reflect on my very first interaction with a concerned parent. (Ohmygoodness.)

I can confidently say that interactions with parents of students would rank at the top of the list of most student teachers' Ten Most Terrifying Things to Deal With. It's certainly on mine. Parents wield a great deal of influence - as they should - but the idea of being accused that you are doing something wrong is particularly scary. So far, I have made an effort to do activities that are helpful for students in terms of broadening their understanding of the text, interesting to them personally, and engaging. I have tried my best to keep all possibilities in mind and the best way to present the activity so that all students can participate fully.

About a week ago, I presented an activity that, in general, was a huge hit; I copied a template from a blank Facebook newsfeed page and then had the students create the page for a specific character from the text. The point, of course, was for the students to do a sort of character analysis and apply what they know about social networking to the character (i.e. what is that characters interests? Are they in a relationship? What music do they listen to? If they went to HS who would they be friends with?). I made it a point to stress those questions instead of insisting that they follow the template precisely, knowing that there would be some student unfamiliar with the medium.

However, when a parent approached me yesterday afternoon and said that her son was incredibly stressed by the activity and concerned, it completely threw me. I can't say that I was particularly prepared for a parent to approach me about an activity worth two points towards their overall grade! Luckily, I recovered from the stress-induced seizure quickly enough to explain to the parent the purpose of the activity, my methods in delivering it, and thanking her for coming to me with her concerns. All said and done, I think we both walked away reassured, happy, and relieved that the interaction had gone well.

Whew. That being said, I was thrilled with the results, and I was glad that my gut instincts had served me well (explain reasoning, express genuine concerns, address students needs, and establish lines of communication). In that sense, I think parents like the one that approached me can be an enormous resource that I am going to focus on tapping into in the next few weeks. I am strongly considering sending positive notes home to students who are probably not praised enough for their efforts and contacting parents of students whose performance concerns me. Too often, parents wind up fearing teachers because a call home is negative thing; instead of asking parents to work like law enforcement, I would like to think of it as asking for help from the experts. Who (theoretically) would know a child better than the parents?

Motivation.

Now that I have began to enter grades into the grade book, I can really see the differences in motivation from class to class. (Most of the grades taken thus far have been participation points; up until this week I haven't assigned too much outside work or assignments that are heavy on the points.) Naturally, the most obvious differences in motivation are from my Honors to my General classes, and those differences I feel I have discussed extensively in my coursework up to this point.

However, the "real world" consequences of these differences in motivation is extremely scary for me. Since my Honors students are so motivated by grades, assigning homework is simple and usually reflects the ability levels of the student or their level of comprehension (as it should). In my General classes, they are mostly motivated to "get through" the class and this week that translated into having about 1/3-1/2 of the students turn in an assignment that mathematically equates to about a third of their grade (although that will change in the next few weeks). Still, seeing the majority of my students failing my class because they didn't turn in an assignment that I extended the deadline for by 4 days is depressing at best.

So here is the conundrum: what can I do about it? I refuse to think that the General students aren't capable of the quality of work I expect from my Honors and that I should therefore "dumb it down", give less homework (I've barely given any!), and/or give more time in class for completing assignments (I gave them time in class that they could have chosen to use to work on it).

I have tried my best to take a relatively uninteresting novel, which I had no choice but to use, and expand it so that it could intersect student interests. Granted, I had anticipated that not all my activities would work and that some might fall completely flat, but to have so few students take interest in doing the work I require is disheartening.

Usually, I have been good at problem-solving and identifying potential solutions; academia was a sort of heaven for me. When applied to real-world problems with murky solutions (if there are any solutions), everything seems tougher. It's easier if I write about it, but even now it isn't yielding any solutions, so I will leave it so any readers that might have suggestions.

Problem:

3/4 of the students in all General sections are failing due to a lack of desire to participate in classroom activities or complete few-and-far-between assignments. This is partly due to widespread apathy for the content of the novel and also to a very chatty classroom climate. Thus far, activities have been difficult but not impossible to engage students; some have been successful, but many students are falling to the wayside. Since the students do not want to do the work, a significant amount of work is dedicated to classroom management, even after restructuring activities. You cannot be everywhere at once during class, so while one student is being helped the other 23 are actively making trouble. The unit is almost over; a major assignment is due soon and a there will be a test at the end.

What do you do?

Getting Help.

This also ties into the idea of motivation, but it more applies to myself. Most of my focus thus far has been student-centered, but I'd like to take the time to briefly analyze the experience's effects on me. Because I spend so much time absorbed in observing, analyzing, and attempting to solve my students' problems, I often lose sight of my own stake in the thing. I am always trying to devise strategies to deliver lessons so that more and more students are involved and interested, but I can occasionally get so hung up on the student end of it that I forget how much I can change myself.

At this point, especially given the situation described above, I need help. I cannot do this alone. Never in my life have I felt so strongly that I have no idea what I am doing or what I can do to help myself.

Despite a concerted effort to implement strategies discussed in previous classes that are grounded in solid pedagogy, my classes are still not engaged, motivated, or even passing. So where do I go for help? Yes, "venting" here helps; I can organize my thoughts and sort of debrief after a long week, but at some point I am supposed to come up with my epiphany of the week and include it.

Q: What have you learned this week that will help you to become a better teacher, Mrs. Johnson?

I don't know. I feel stuck, frustrated, and helpless. I read English Journal articles for help; I look online for resources; I briefly discuss issues with other teachers; I try to keep my brain engaged by working through my own problems.

Q: What will you do to change that?

I don't know. I know that there are no easy answers, but I need to find a forum of sorts where I can discuss possible strategies, or at least be able to commiserate with people who understand. I feel as though Mr. "Smith" is unavailable or disinterested, and although it may be wrong I tend not to approach him for suggestions.

Q: And how does that make you feel?

Terrible. I am isolated for six hours a day where my only interactions are with the same people that are my "problem". They also happen to be fourteen.

Q: So what is your next move?

This week I plan on focusing more on praising positive behavior so that students see I appreciate their hard work; I want to read several articles that address student motivation and performance and revisit books that address these same things. There are resources out there, but the process of finding them and then sifting through them is time-consuming and often the results are less-than-satisfying.

Small Victories.

Students seeking me out for questions or concerns. Students expressing their excitement over their writing assignments. Students conversing with me, concerned about their own abilities or behaviors. My wonderful experience with the students involved in The Pink Panther Strikes Again.

All evidence that, even though teaching isn't for those who desire instant gratification, there are lives being touched...

...especially mine.

To Be Continued.

Reflections on Week 3

It's hard to believe I'm three weeks in already; before I know it I'll wonder where all the time went and be in a cap and gown!

I do feel like I'm coming up a little short as far as material to reflect on this week, given that it was a three-day week and a rather unremarkable one in the classroom to boot. However, there are a few nagging questions and concerns that I have, but they may not be specific to incidents that happened this week.

First, despite my best efforts, I feel as though I am beginning to get discouraged with my mentor teacher's lack of involvement in my teaching. Mr. "Smith" is out of the classroom 99% of the time, which is nice since it gives me complete control over the class, but it also absolves him of the responsibility to comment or critique my teaching. There are things I think I can do better, but none of those things have come from his instruction or criticism; I have had to reflect largely on my own. I just wish that I could take full advantage of his vast experience and years so that I feel more prepared when I am faced with my own classroom.

On a similar note, I feel that his (what I perceive as) disillusionment with teaching and school-related activities has put me in an uncomfortable position on a couple of occasions. For example, after last Wednesday's bomb threat he gave me a ride home since I was unable to get back in the school to retrieve my keys and personal items. I found out later that I WOULD have been able to get into the school; in fact, they had a faculty meeting about the incident that we both missed due to his insistence on going home.

This Wednesday, we had another bomb threat and the same thing happened; I didn't have my keys and Mr. "Smith" insisted that he give me a ride home. I politely refused, given that my husband and I couldn't be without a car for four days and told him that I would wait on my own with the other faculty members until the all-clear was given. Thank goodness I did! There was another faculty meeting to debrief after the incident that we would have missed...again.

It's not that I am harboring bad feelings against him (I want to ensure that I make that clear!), but on the other hand, at times I am at his mercy since he is more knowledgeable about the procedural things that go on, and to miss out on those things...I can't help but feel that it isn't my fault. To me, his haste to get out of school and go home translates to an utter lack of excitement to be doing what he is doing; at times I feel like I am the burden he is forced to carry around ("Well, nerds...I'd really like to go home now but I've got to take care of this pesky student teacher...what do I do with her?"). So far, these end results of this behavior has only been minor annoyances thus far, but I am unsure how I will approach the issue if it becomes a greater obstacle.

On the other end of the spectrum, I was dead-on regarding my observation that my involvement with the drama program would be a real lifesaver for me. As time has gone on, I have become more intimate with all the kids involved and those that help. On Wednesday, the faculty members got special permission (remember: after the bomb threat) to help with the set and props and I had offered my assistance. Mrs. "Williams" and Ms. "Norton" have been wonderful in making me feel at home at the school and very encouraging.

As I suspected, the time spent painting, using power tools, stapling, and taping, was reminiscent of all the sleep-overs I had in middle school; all of us, including mans-man Mr. "Ferguson" nearly painted our nails and shared our feelings. Truly, it was a bonding experience (as cheesy as it sounds) and I don't regret that I was there until midnight in the slightest.

By contrast to Mr. "Smith", Mrs. "Williams" and Ms. "Norton" have made me feel as though I am a member of the team and a valuable player. During the course of the evening, they insistently demanded that I put my application in, as Mr. "Smith" and another teacher in the English department are/likely will be retiring this year. In the course of several hours in street clothes and without the pretenses of stuffy titles and last names, I felt encouraged and valued and believed in; without ever having seen me in the classroom, they saw a perspective and work ethic that they want on their team. This is incredibly encouraging to me, and I can't help but see it as the antithesis of the experience I had with Mr. "Smith" this week; that is precisely what I want and need as a student teacher!

Lastly, an update: I did give a myriad of detentions last Thursday for my largely-uncooperative classes, so we shall see what shakes down. Naturally, the kids were all but checked out by Wednesday with fall break on the horizon, but I'll be interested to see if the "I mean business" approach will have an impact when we come back on Monday.

Reflections on Week 2

First and foremost, I would like to announce to the world that I have indeed survived my first week of student teaching after two failed lessons, one bomb threat, one portion of cafeteria food, and one affirmation from one student.

Sheesh.

Secondly, I have come to several realizations throughout the week, which are shared below. None of these things are particularly new or novel; most are mundane, really, but are important or perhaps operate differently in practice than they did (do?) in my inexperienced mind. Some are very broad, as most of the observations I have made thus far are big ideas that need to be reinforced frequently for me rather than small secrets to a specific success.

1. You can only prepare so much.

Or, in other words, flexibility is key, because sometimes things just go wrong, despite your (my) best efforts.

Like Wednesday, for example.

I purchased an alarm clock in order to hedge my bets against my old, crappy cell phone's alarm, fearing that it wouldn't go off for whatever reason. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that this alarm clock would decide to switch to standard time without my permission, so when I woke up on Wednesday at 6:15, I assumed I had plenty of time to get ready.

Wrong. I was just dressed and showered when the clock read 7:40, so I left frazzled and breakfastless (and also luncless, since I didn't have time to pack that either). I arrived at around 8:20 with just five minutes until students began to arrive and start in on my complicated, but engaging (I hoped!) activity.

To help students broaden their definition of what science fiction is and what it achieves, I pilfered an activity from the internet (yes, I have already sunk to that level...I simply do not have time or energy to design elaborate lessons as I have in the past for classes!) that required students to read "Harrison Bergeron" and then work in groups to answer a set of questions...all while dealing with their randomly assigned "handicaps" (i.e. only talking in a whisper, madly gesticulating, needing to lie on the floor while working, etc.). While this is a great illustration of the issues in HB, the students just did NOT get it. They were enthusiastic about their various handicaps - a particular favorite was a version of Tourette's where they were required to say "I love English!" loudly every five minutes - but they could not answer the questions.

They just couldn't. I tried my best and explained and explained and explained and encouraged and explained til I was ready to drop, but the material was simply too difficult.

Then, in my last period class, the school, perhaps in conjunction with some giant, Cosmic joke at my inability to get done what I wanted to accomplish, went into lockdown due to a bomb threat and evacuated the school, with me locked out of the school unable to get my purse, lesson plans, and materials at the end of the day.

Which leads me to my second point...

2. My expectations were way too high.

At the beginning of the week, I was completely misjudging the students' ability levels and critical thinking skills, as evidenced by the ultimate failure of the Harrison Bergeron activity on Wednesday. Really, the questions required in the activity were more appropriate for 11th or 12th grade students, or needed plenty of explanation and scaffolding.

This isn't to say, of course, that I discovered that my students are stupid or something to that effect, but I certainly was asking too much of them. Since then, I developed a sort of three-pronged attack to assist my students in making the connections I would like them to:

1. What do you think [quote, character's action, section of dialogue, question, theory, etc.] means?
2. Why do you have that opinion of X position?
3. How does it apply to the text?

For example, I had much greater success in getting the students to think outside of the text as a standalone study material by prompting them with something like a quote (not from the text) or an issue and then allowing them to respond to it by following that loose formula. That way, they are given clear guidelines and a progression as to how to achieve the marriage between their life and the book they are reading, which is my ultimate goal.

3. Classroom management isn't as hard as I thought.

Naturally, I have a long way to go in developing my own style and I don't have all the answers, but I discovered that if I constantly reminded myself that I wanted all my students to be successful in my classroom, my methods changed. At the beginning of the week, I found myself calling students out and raising my voice more, but towards the middle of the week I began having conversations with "problem" students in the hallway while the rest of the class was engaged in another activity.

I forced the students to work through their issues with me while attempting to compromise, instead of enforcing punitive action. For example, one particular student in my Honors class simply refuses to do the work (for what reason I am still unsure, although I am planning to pay careful attention to his work in the next week or so), but after speaking with him in the hall, found that he had simply had a really bad day and was in a sour mood. We concluded that it didn't excuse his disruptive behavior and that he would make an extra effort to leave his problems at the door, even though we both agreed that that isn't an easy thing to do.

However, this method does NOT work for my last period class, which is exceptionally talkative and seems to have lower motivation overall. I can't pinpoint a single student to correct because 2/3rds of them are busy doing the exact opposite of whatever it is that I request. Although I certainly plan to have a heart-to-heart with them on Monday, I am not exactly sure how I will proceed (blog topic for next week, perhaps?). At any rate, I am pleased that I have not had to resort to disciplining students with detentions as of yet (although I am not totally in opposition with issuing detentions, I think that there are more productive ways to find compromises for student behavior before resorting to it) but I'm not discounting it entirely.

There you have it. Believe it or not, this is the appended version of week one...stay tuned for more!

"Oh my god, I suck at this!"

It certainly wasn't the worst first day in the world...but it was certainly overwhelming, frustrating and disconcerting enough that I thought I should reflect on it.

First and foremost, none of my lessons went exactly as planned (read: they did not achieve the desired goal, but something else entirely). Not to say that my timing wasn't accurate; 6/7 were almost exactly on the mark. However, I found that the students in both classes were slow to grasp the material or were unmotivated to do it.

The first problem I can understand, and throughout the day I attempted to correct the problem by explaining more and giving examples, and, to an extent, it worked. However, by and large the conclusions drawn by students at the end of the hour were superficial and elementary and didn't reflect the kind of active engagement that I had intended. Of course, part of it will improve with time as the students have more pieces of the puzzle to put together...but still! If this is a result of my excessive expectations for the students, I really don't know what to do. The questions were simple, but nuanced; how can I maintain high expectations for my students when I see them struggling with simplistic material?

The second problem, however, was a thorn in my side all day was much more related to students' motivation and behavior. I felt that I was in an all-day shouting match...especially for last hour, which prompted me to write the post in the first place.

Sigh. So here's the sitch:

The students were divided into groups and asked to focus on a specific element (character, plot, setting) and take notes. They were told that the notes would be both collected and would count for a (small) participation grade. I was fed up with students who took advantage of their group members and copied their work, so after seeing a group of students do nothing during the entire clip (even though I answered their questions and stood nearby), I was done with the shenanigans. I collected their blank (well, except for one..."Joe" had opted to sketch a lovely red border around his entire paper in colored pencil while the video was playing) notes and informed them that they wouldn't be receiving any participation points for the day.

This caused an uproar (why is nothing easy??) and argument. I put my foot down, and feel justified in my actions, but it doesn't help that the entire class period was wasted for this group of students. Now, of course, these students are going to think I'm totally mean-spirited and "out to get them", and the other students had a less-than-helpful lesson because of the time and information that was wasted during the whole debacle.

It's been a long day. I'm tired of fighting already...another 9 weeks that looks just like today is a little more than I can handle. I have a TON of planning to do...another long night for, apparently, very little payoff.

Reflections on Week One

All in all, I would consider the week to have been productive, successful, and pleasant. I am really looking forward to taking over tomorrow and feel prepared (for the most part) to take over tomorrow. The students have clearly been getting antsy with the current material and are probably ready and eager to start something new.

At the beginning of the week, my goals for the week were to interact with the students more, meet more of the faculty, continue planning, and to take a more active role in front of the classroom so that the students can know (at least a little bit) what to expect from me. Although the week certainly wasn't devoid of its frustrations and challenges, all of those goals have been met in some way or another.

I was definitely more involved with the students this week than I have been in my previous visits, which has, of course, led me to think that this may be one of the biggest difficulties that I have to work with in the next few weeks. Figuring out the line between professionalism, accessibility, and my own personality is proving to me no easy task. Of course, I don't want to be to casual and buddy-buddy with the kids, but I also want to be friendly. Also, in general, I'm not a very upbeat or bubbly person, so joking with students without seeming cruel is a challenge.

This ties in to my discipline strategy as well; for Mr. "Smith", his discipline strategy is very rigid and focused on student behavior (i.e. each student should behave because they ought to) and disciplining flagrantly disruptive behavior, where I am much more concerned with the overall learning environment and student participation (i.e. behavior problems affect the group and therefore it is the benefit of the group that any individual should "behave").

For example, I chose to quietly reprimand a student, "Kara", during the very rambunctious last period class. I was following Mr. Smith's lesson for the day and the students were reading a short story aloud and then taking a quiz. I sat behind Mr. Smith's desk (as he always does) and followed along. Each time I looked up from the book, Kara, in the second row, was looking directly at me, or at another student, or at the ceiling, or...you get the idea. I finally had it, after she had been poking a male student in the back for a couple minutes and being a distraction in general, and hissed at her to "stop flirting!". I got the reaction I wanted and she followed along from then on out, but I have to wonder if I could have handled it differently or better.

I also had the chance to meet several more faculty members this week, and opportunity that I jumped on with gusto. I have been working with the fall play and, because of this interaction, am now on a first-name basis with the two faculty members in charge (*puts on sunglasses*...yeaaaahh!). I'm very excited to have more individuals that I can commiserate with (if nothing else) and also to bond with, share experiences with, and to speak with for second opinions. I hope that I can continue building these relationships, as I can already see that they will be key to me maintaining my sanity through the next ten weeks.

Even though I've been planning for the past several weeks, and heavily in the last week, I am still feeling kind of panicked and unprepared. Logically, I know that part of this is because I am young, new, and inexperienced, but it is also a result of my interactions with Mr. Smith. I haven't had the opportunity to review any lesson plans that he has used for the two novels I'll be teaching...because he doesn't have anything to show me. He has a well-worn way of doing things, and therefore has no need to put anything on paper. However, that has sent me into a blind panic since I have to do everything from scratch: the novels themselves, activities, and auxiliary materials. Coupled with the fact that I had worked on a unit plan for the term paper I'll be teaching, only to run into scheduling errors with the lab and have to re-do everything, I'm left feeling pretty freaked out. However, that is a very real-world issue that teachers must deal with from time to time, so I suppose at some point I'll look back on it as a learning experience and appreciate it.

Lastly, I was able to take a more active role in the classroom this week than before. Since I'll be picking up the entire class load the first week, I'll admit that I wasn't chomping at the bit to start a week early. I took the general classes on Thursday and was pleased, overall, with how things went. I think the students are happy to have seen me do something aside from chat with them from time to time and I had a very positive experience with one class that was a good ego boost for me: my 6th hour class only has seven students due to a weird scheduling glitch, and I was thrilled at how well the students behaved and saw that they were engaged and interested as they read the short story and their quiz scores reflected it. I stopped on occasion to ask questions and made the students reflect and asked questions, and it payed off - their class average was 112%! The last period, which I mentioned before, was more of a handful but certainly not a complete failure (I think their average was a 90-95%). Because of the teaching experience, I have a better idea of how I will tailor my lesson and my delivery to classes tomorrow.

My apologies if this post seemed a bit sterile; I should certainly think that my content will be a little more dramatic in the coming weeks!