"Oh my god, I suck at this!"

It certainly wasn't the worst first day in the world...but it was certainly overwhelming, frustrating and disconcerting enough that I thought I should reflect on it.

First and foremost, none of my lessons went exactly as planned (read: they did not achieve the desired goal, but something else entirely). Not to say that my timing wasn't accurate; 6/7 were almost exactly on the mark. However, I found that the students in both classes were slow to grasp the material or were unmotivated to do it.

The first problem I can understand, and throughout the day I attempted to correct the problem by explaining more and giving examples, and, to an extent, it worked. However, by and large the conclusions drawn by students at the end of the hour were superficial and elementary and didn't reflect the kind of active engagement that I had intended. Of course, part of it will improve with time as the students have more pieces of the puzzle to put together...but still! If this is a result of my excessive expectations for the students, I really don't know what to do. The questions were simple, but nuanced; how can I maintain high expectations for my students when I see them struggling with simplistic material?

The second problem, however, was a thorn in my side all day was much more related to students' motivation and behavior. I felt that I was in an all-day shouting match...especially for last hour, which prompted me to write the post in the first place.

Sigh. So here's the sitch:

The students were divided into groups and asked to focus on a specific element (character, plot, setting) and take notes. They were told that the notes would be both collected and would count for a (small) participation grade. I was fed up with students who took advantage of their group members and copied their work, so after seeing a group of students do nothing during the entire clip (even though I answered their questions and stood nearby), I was done with the shenanigans. I collected their blank (well, except for one..."Joe" had opted to sketch a lovely red border around his entire paper in colored pencil while the video was playing) notes and informed them that they wouldn't be receiving any participation points for the day.

This caused an uproar (why is nothing easy??) and argument. I put my foot down, and feel justified in my actions, but it doesn't help that the entire class period was wasted for this group of students. Now, of course, these students are going to think I'm totally mean-spirited and "out to get them", and the other students had a less-than-helpful lesson because of the time and information that was wasted during the whole debacle.

It's been a long day. I'm tired of fighting already...another 9 weeks that looks just like today is a little more than I can handle. I have a TON of planning to do...another long night for, apparently, very little payoff.